Derby girls, you rocked my world

So I had the pleasure of viewing a genuine, live roller derby bout while in Regina. Kyla, my heavy metal lovin' couchsurfing host, was a derby newbie, known as fresh meat in the derby world. She wasn't skating in the match but selling 50/50 tickets, which means I got a great seat since we arrived early. The bout took place in the curling rink, where the ice had been removed for the summer months. The crowd could not have been more different than the folks who attend curling matches: tattooed, pierced, wild hairstyles galore. There were folks from 2 to 82, although most people were in the 18-30 range.

Wild rock and metal music blasted from the speakers as the derby girls came out to do their warm up skate. Tonight's bout was a rematch between the Lockdown Lolitas and the Bone City Beaver Dames. According to the official program, the Lockdown Lolitas were a "misfit bunch of inmates from a nearby women's prison. The group was created as an experimental form of anger management training, but quickly grew into a sisterhood of ruthless women. The Lockdown Lolitas skate their hearts out at each and every game because it is their one glimmer of freedom in the cold hard school of knocks" The Beaver Dames "are not cute and fuzzy, but a hard-living bunch of broads who have banded together after being cast out of polite society from their bad attitude and misconduct". The game was reffed by General Discomfort, and commentated by Tenacious Double Dee.

As the minutes counting down to the match diminished, I felt the energy and excitement in the arena grow stronger. Seats filled up (the show was sold out), voices grew louder, derby girls playfully growled and snarled at opposing team members. I think the peak of it all was when the audience burst into boisterous applause and hooting as Tenacious Double Dee belted out the last few notes of the national anthem. I haven't felt such homeland pride since the spontaneous singing in the streets that accompanied the Winter Olympics. I was glowing, beaming, just happy to be part of the crowd, all of us stoked for the bout to come.

The ladies didn't disappoint. With names like Doom Cookie, Mochahontas, Maiden Sane, Ra Ra Riot, Super Tramp, D.Ablo, Da Dan Da Dah, Anna Filactic, Lady Kracken, TabRRRKnuckle, and (my personal fav) Tanya Backside, I had a feeling that the crowd was going to be thoroughly entertained from start to finish. The girls raw energy and enthusiasm for the sport reminded of back in the day when I was a devout rugby player. Passion, devotion, and the unconditional willingness to give it your all once you are on the floor/field.

While watching the match, I kept thinking, "I dig these girls. They get it; they know what life is all about". They were real, their hearts were in it, and no one was giving in to defeat no matter what the score. Their attitude impressed me the most. Although they were aggressive ("Ooooh, and Suzie Smackems gives a big hit to Madame Snatch! Ouch!"), they maintained a certain level of respect for the other team. When jammer Kitty Militia went down with a hit to the tail bone, every player on the floor took a knee and watched with fretful eyes until she made her way up. After the match, all the players and a bunch of the spectators made their way upstairs to the after party, where folks mixed and mingled, reliving the glories of the bout and showing off bruises shaped like Eastern European nations.

One thing is for certain: when I grow up (or get bored of cycling) I'm going to be a derby girl. All I have to do is think of a rink name for myself. Megalicious? Meaghan the Mauler? Forward me you suggestions. I plan to go into intense training as soon as I arrive home. As for now, I'm gonna stick with biking, since I have committed myself to crossing Canada and would hate to bail out when I'm almost in Manitoba. I do, however, plan to start dressing in derby style by somehow incorporating torn fishnets and externally worn lacy panties into my riding attire. And I'll need to pic up a few more tattoos, sorry Mom! It seems that 1/8 of the body is about the standard amount of ink on a roller derby girl (although some have no tats), so I have a long way to go. When I'm back in the hood, I plan to return to my employment position at Central City Arena, where I'll spend my days schlepping it out behind the counter, and my nights practicing my moves on the rink.